It is April 11 and I'm so happy to be back at my blog! I'm probably having the busiest Spring ever, so I've let my blogging slide- and I miss it!
Where I've been focusing my writing energy the most these days is in rewriting my bio. It's been such an interesting process for me. Months or rewrites! First it was for my own website, and then it was for the TeleSummit site. I can't believe how many drafts I've been through at this point - from over a page to just a paragraph. My TeleSummit bio has been up for a couple months, and I recently decided to rewrite it. Realized there's more I could say.
I've been scared about putting myself out there in a more vulnerable way, but also wanting to do that, to come out as who I truly am and what I've been through. Ready to stop hiding. And this TeleSummit, where I'm getting interviewed about how yoga has transformed my life on April 23, created the perfect opportunity to look deeper at my journey.
I've been unsure of what exactly I wanted to share, how to keep it simple and concise. Lots of questions like: What's important? What's boasting? Who am I really? What do I have to offer? How can I best describe what I do? What have I actually learned along the way? How has yoga changed my life? What do I want people to know about me? How can this be of service?
So it's been quite poignant, like diving into my life story. The funniest thing is that in the course I'm currently co-teaching with Karen Harris and Therese Fitz-Maurice, we are asking people to write up their stories, either whole life story or a story that needs some healing, with the idea that working on the story and sharing it, does bring healing. So this is, in effect, what I've been doing anyway. And along with my Hendricks training, and my commitment to being authentic and transparent, I'm really taking this bio into new and vulnerable territory.
I've realized that my story of insecurity and low self-esteem is big. It's been a huge player and driving force in my life, creating my big Perfectionist persona, who tries to protect me from pain and loss, as well as the Driver, who's always pushing to accomplish things in the world. I can see how much healing I've done in this area, and there's more, and it's still my story. I have recognized that I'm not alone in this, of course, and it's still my story. I think my owning this aspect of myself and being willing to share it with others actually helps me to embrace all of myself, actually helps me detach from the story of "I'm not worthy, I'm not enough" and claim that this story and my journey with it are my gifts instead of my faults. And I get empowered by sharing them. WOW! It's totally the opposite of the pattern of hiding them because I feel ashamed. How about stepping up and sharing them and then I feel powerful and strong and hardly feel their pull on me anymore!
And I know by lots of recent experiences now, that me sharing this and letting others see into me, into-me-see = intimacy (thanks to Marc Takaha for that one), that I become more connected to people, which is what I really want anyway. AND, this is completely the opposite of what happens if I hide or pretend to be something I'm not! And I also see that coming forward with my story can also be of service to others who are hiding behind their own wall of shame. In fact, I feel so pumped up by this process, that I just want to get on my soapbox and tell everyone to stand up and share something they've never shared before, tell their loved ones their darkest secrets, tell a friend something they've been withholding, and let yourself be seen and held in all of who you are!
So this is where I see my teaching going, and it already has, in workshops, in retreats, long term courses like the one I'm dong with Karen: helping people to own, to share their stories, to embrace themselves, their true essence, to be seen and let go of the armoring that keeps those stories hidden. (Of course the deeper unfolding may take longer, but this is where my personal coaching practice can help, or some other modality). I believe it's our hiding, our trying to disown part of ourselves, our trying to be somebody that we're not, that holds us back from living the life we truly want to live. Hiding is pent-up energy. Revealing is releasing energy!
Okay, I'm super excited now. Thanks for reading this far. I'll come back to this thread later. But for now, here's my latest TeleSummit bio: super brief for the website, but hopefully, it encapsulates some of what I've shared. I love your feedback!
Robyn Smith, owner of Inner Freedom Yoga in Arcata, CA, is a certified Anusara yoga instructor, Hanna Somatic Educator, and Hendricks Conscious Living and Loving coach. She's been teaching yoga for over 18 years, helping people with chronic pain and tension since 1998, and engaging in conscious communication and healthy lifestyle practices since she was 20. She's in awe of yoga's power to transform all aspects of life and her teachings offer empowering messages of love and healing.
Having struggled with early loss and a teenage eating disorder, she's no stranger to self hatred and deep insecurity. With growing self esteem and confidence over the last 25 years, she has come to know that her essence is wholeness, and she's committed to loving herself and experiencing radiant self esteem all the time.
Robyn is a champion for living the life you love. Through her teaching and coaching, she helps people reclaim their bodies, live from their hearts, and celebrate their true essence. She delights in gardening, nature hikes, and growing community through parties, long courses and retreats.