Where do I sit with this current scandal surrounding my teacher, John Friend? I sit here, holding strong, dedicated to Anusara like I always have been. Sthira Sukham Asanam are the lines from the Yoga Sutra stating that the seat (asana) should be steady and comfortable. While it hasn't been so comfortable lately, it's been steady, even as more details have come forward.
I love my teacher and I love Anusara. This is the method that I teach because it works and it resonates for me. It has completely empowered and transformed my life in incalculable ways over the last 11+ years, as it has for thousands of people. I have built my life around it. It is my truth.
So I am separating the method from the man, the teachings from the teacher. I have never had John on a pedestal so I do not need to knock him off, run away, or re-align my path. I have always seen him as a brilliant teacher, a guide, a smart business man, and more recently, as a friend. I have seen his ego and his faults, and yet I still bow to him as a master of asana, a great leader on the path of the heart, and an intelligent, silly, and playful being. And now I see that he has some shadows that he needs to deal with. Don't we all? He has given hundreds of thousands of people access to transformational spiritual teachings, and alignment principles,and many an awesome career, while teaching around the globe constantly, sustaining a massive organization and supporting a growing community and staff. So, I understand that he would need an outlet, want to have fun, and that he could get confused about priorities or power dynamics. He is human. And this type of thing happens SO often! But, we expect the highest from yoga and spiritual teachers (though he never claimed to be a spiritual guru, and certainly was not for me).
Of course, I am greatly disappointed that my teacher was not in alignment in his private affairs and some business relations. This is upsetting to me because I highly value accountability and integrity. And, I am very sad for any people that he may have hurt. He had breaks in integrity that I find hard to fathom. So he will need to earn my trust again, but I have faith that he can. He is still my teacher (one of many) and Anusara is still my home, at least for now.
Ultimately, I do not think that my teacher's actions need to reflect on the power of his teachings, the viability of his business or on my students, business or lifestyle. The yoga is still awesome, whether the leader messed up or not. He made stupid choices and had some screwy power plays, and he is paying big consequences. And I know it's an intensely painful journey for him. I am sad for him as he's worked tirelessly for 14 + years to help thousands of people and it is all shaking down so quickly. The public scrutiny has been harsh. But structural and personal changes needed to happen and now they are.
He has now stepped down as the CEO of Anusara Yoga and named a new CEO, a woman named Michal Lichtman. He is restructuring the business into a 501C3 non-profit organization and is forming committees of teachers to carry us forward. How exciting! He is also planning to take a sabbatical from teaching for some inner reflection. So I have faith that Anusara will live on in a new way, one that is more egalitarian and empowers the certified teachers to have a voice in the growth and direction of the organization. And I have faith that John will do some important inner work and come back even stronger.
The silver lining here for me is this: I have had to source my truth in the face of watching my teacher fall from Grace and witnessing many of my peers resign their affiliations. I have had to recognize that just because people I highly respect are bowing out, it does not mean that I feel the same way or have the same needs. So, it's been a time of much reflection about ethics, morals, relationships and the seat of the teacher. I have asked some bigger questions and sourced my own truth. My truth is that I am dedicated to Anusara Yoga and John Friend. I am honoring my truth and I am settling deeper into my seat.
Musings on life and Anusara Yoga with Robyn Smith, certified Anusara Yoga instructor from Arcata, Ca www.innerfreedomyoga.com
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Spanda
I've been teaching about spanda this week in classes and really appreciating the different angles that keep coming up for me about this topic. Spanda means vibration or pulsation and it refers to the constant contraction and expansion of the Supreme Consciousness in everything and everyone. So everything at its core is pulsing, whether we notice it or not. Expansion and contraction are part of nature, like the rhythm of our breath, the cycles of the moon and the cycles of each day and each year. We can't have contraction without expansion and vice versa.
I'm finding this especially helpful right now, as I've just come through a difficult time and I now have a couple of friends who are in a dark time. Even that expression, "dark time" connotes that it is a period of contraction that will end, and will be followed by expansion again. Often the trickiest thing for us is to remember this when we're in the darkness. We tend to feel shrouded in our darkness, sometimes lost in it and often can't see past it into the light. This is what friends are for. They remind us of spanda, that everything is pulsing and that we will eventually make our way back to the other side, the light.
I think it's also helpful to remember this when we're already in the light. We tend to get attached to it and forget that even the brightest times come to an end. Pulsation is inevitable so the practice is to learn how to ride the waves of the pulse without getting attached to either side, dark or light, contraction or expansion. Ultimately, we just embrace it all and see it all as a powerful learning opportunity on our adventure of life.
See you on the waves!
I'm finding this especially helpful right now, as I've just come through a difficult time and I now have a couple of friends who are in a dark time. Even that expression, "dark time" connotes that it is a period of contraction that will end, and will be followed by expansion again. Often the trickiest thing for us is to remember this when we're in the darkness. We tend to feel shrouded in our darkness, sometimes lost in it and often can't see past it into the light. This is what friends are for. They remind us of spanda, that everything is pulsing and that we will eventually make our way back to the other side, the light.
I think it's also helpful to remember this when we're already in the light. We tend to get attached to it and forget that even the brightest times come to an end. Pulsation is inevitable so the practice is to learn how to ride the waves of the pulse without getting attached to either side, dark or light, contraction or expansion. Ultimately, we just embrace it all and see it all as a powerful learning opportunity on our adventure of life.
See you on the waves!
Monday, January 2, 2012
following through with our intentions
I realize I didn't mention a couple important things in yesterday's post.
Re. the Releasing Practice and letting go of past habits, beliefs, etc:
One thing that helps me, as I mentioned, is once I recognize I'm doing something habitual, I stop and really feel into it. I feel the bodily sensations associated with the thoughts or actions. (And often a "negative" habit pattern is associated with intense feelings). And I take a deep breath.
I recognize them as energy, shakti, and I watch their vibration (spanda) and how they often transform when I pay attention. When I can see the feelings or thoughts as simply energy, then it helps me to soften around them. To recognize everything is vibrating energy/shakti helps me to let go of the story of it and just rest in the energy. This helps me relax around the contracted feelings of attachment that arise when I'm believing my story or stuck in a "negative" habit or thought pattern.
Re. following through on our New Year's resolutions:
What has worked for me this year is to schedule my new "positive" habits right into my daily calendar. I don't just remember my intentions, or even look at a written "to-do" list, I actually put down the new habits directly into my calendar exactly when I'm going to do them. Of course, this works better for an actual task than for a belief or thought-pattern. So with new tasks: for me one of them is practicing my cello, I write down exactly what time each day I'm going to practice and for how long. Then it's best if most other events of my day are also scheduled with realistic time frames (this is key) so I'm more likely to follow through on my plans.
At first, I found it useful to put down absolutely everything I intend to do each day and for how long. For example: I put down what time I meditate and do my asana, what time I'll be eating, when I'll call to make a doctor appt. or a date with a friend, what hours I'll be working, doing errands, what time I take a walk, cook dinner, laundry, etc. (In the working and errands time slot, I make a list of tasks I intend to accomplish and when I don't accomplish them, I put them into the next day's schedule).
It seems very rigid at first, but for me, it's actually been very freeing. It's given me a sense of peace to know it's all written down and I don't have to remember everything. I stick to it as best I can and move things when necessary. After a while, a couple months or so, I notice that I am following through with certain new tasks; they become a new positive habit that I want to do and I automatically budget them into my day. So now, I find I schedule only the non-regular stuff and the daily rituals are already accounted for.
Best of luck and please let me know how it goes and whether you find this helpful!
Namste,
Robyn
Re. the Releasing Practice and letting go of past habits, beliefs, etc:
One thing that helps me, as I mentioned, is once I recognize I'm doing something habitual, I stop and really feel into it. I feel the bodily sensations associated with the thoughts or actions. (And often a "negative" habit pattern is associated with intense feelings). And I take a deep breath.
I recognize them as energy, shakti, and I watch their vibration (spanda) and how they often transform when I pay attention. When I can see the feelings or thoughts as simply energy, then it helps me to soften around them. To recognize everything is vibrating energy/shakti helps me to let go of the story of it and just rest in the energy. This helps me relax around the contracted feelings of attachment that arise when I'm believing my story or stuck in a "negative" habit or thought pattern.
Re. following through on our New Year's resolutions:
What has worked for me this year is to schedule my new "positive" habits right into my daily calendar. I don't just remember my intentions, or even look at a written "to-do" list, I actually put down the new habits directly into my calendar exactly when I'm going to do them. Of course, this works better for an actual task than for a belief or thought-pattern. So with new tasks: for me one of them is practicing my cello, I write down exactly what time each day I'm going to practice and for how long. Then it's best if most other events of my day are also scheduled with realistic time frames (this is key) so I'm more likely to follow through on my plans.
At first, I found it useful to put down absolutely everything I intend to do each day and for how long. For example: I put down what time I meditate and do my asana, what time I'll be eating, when I'll call to make a doctor appt. or a date with a friend, what hours I'll be working, doing errands, what time I take a walk, cook dinner, laundry, etc. (In the working and errands time slot, I make a list of tasks I intend to accomplish and when I don't accomplish them, I put them into the next day's schedule).
It seems very rigid at first, but for me, it's actually been very freeing. It's given me a sense of peace to know it's all written down and I don't have to remember everything. I stick to it as best I can and move things when necessary. After a while, a couple months or so, I notice that I am following through with certain new tasks; they become a new positive habit that I want to do and I automatically budget them into my day. So now, I find I schedule only the non-regular stuff and the daily rituals are already accounted for.
Best of luck and please let me know how it goes and whether you find this helpful!
Namste,
Robyn
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year- expanded version of 1/1/12 email newsletter
Happy New Year! I hope this Holiday time has been filled with great love and restoration for you.
This darkest season and time of transition into a new calendar year is a traditional time to reflect on the past and clarify our visions for the future. I like to do what I call a Releasing Practice. I look back over the last year to acknowledge what I've learned and recognize where I can continue to grow. Then I intentionally release any unhealthy habits or beliefs. A great way to empower this is to write on a piece of paper, in present tense, all that you want to surrender from the past. For example: I surrender my worrying about the future, I release my habit of blaming others for my experience, I let go of the belief that I'm not enough. Then you burn it ritually in a fire with the word Svaha! which means hail! or so be it! The ritual fire has been used in India for thousands of years. It symbolizes the burning of impurities and the offering of our prayers to Spirit through the rising smoke. This year, I am keeping it simple and only writing two things down which I want to focus on the most.
But how do we actually release our unhealthy habits and beliefs which are so deeply ingrained? Oh, this is a process. I believe we must return to them again and again with new consciousness and discipline ourselves to do something different, anything besides the old habit. It really helps to ask our loved ones to support us in making a change; they can remind us kindly when we're behaving in a habitual way, but it's up to us to stop the habit. Having support is super helpful in making change.
The complimentary practice, I call Intention Practice, is to write down what you want to manifest or focus on in the next year. A nice thing to do with this piece of paper is to make it beautiful using colors or artistic writing, etc. and put it on your altar or somewhere visible as a daily re- minder of your intention (sankalpa in Sanskrit). This year, I'm writing just one thing for each of these categories: creativity, spiritual life, social life, work, play, home, and health. Other areas might be family, finances, relationship, body, community, studies. Do you know most New Year's resolutions only last about 2 weeks? They say it takes 8 weeks of a new practice to create a habit. So don't let your resolutions slip away. Keep coming back and ask for support!
Ultimately, it is best to start with acceptance if we want to grow or change. Trying to force out the "bad" habits or beliefs is like fueling an inner battle. So we welcome all of who we are first, fully feeling into our sadness or pain or discomfort. Then with compassion, we embrace our whole self before choosing what to release. And every time we catch ourselves in the old habit, we compassionately acknowledge it and then choose to let it go.
I wish you the best in your 2012 journey of yoga off the mat!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Happy Solstice!
Happy Solstice!
This morning, I enjoyed Winter's call to sleep in late and linger in bed for longer than usual. And I reveled in the stillness of the morning to sit in meditation longer than usual.
Winter beckons us to slow down and nurture ourselves like the womb nourishes a fetus. It is a call to go inside, to inquire into our true nature, to get quiet and listen to the wisdom of our beings and honor what we discover. Although we are returning to longer days, this is still the darkest season. It is in nature's flow to honor this precious time by reducing busyness, spending time with loved ones and practicing restorative activities like yoga and meditation that help us renew and rejuvenate before the Spring.
May you cherish this rich opportunity for inquiry and self-honoring. May your Winter Holidays be blessed with much love, deep presence and the radiance of the returning light.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Compassion and Kindness
- alternate version of 12/11 newsletter
I love this holiday time where we practice opening our hearts towards others by giving gifts to loved-ones and generously making offerings towards those in need. In Yoga, one of the highest practices of generosity is to generate compassion and kindness for all beings, but especially for those people who trigger you the most.
I've recently been faced with the opportunity to practice this quite a bit! While it has been very unpleasant to feel somebody's frustration pointed towards me, I've been able to appreciate the unique growth that has evolved from it. I've been watching my impulses to react defensively against the perceived threat; my ego wanting to defend it's position or wanting to counter-attack. This kind of response is so natural, so human. And yet as a conscious being, I've been doing my best to choose compassion and kindness instead. (Using e-mail has greatly facilitated this process as it's given me the space to think before I respond).
As I've shared in classes this week, what helps me to respond with kindness is first generating compassion (karuna) for this person. I try to see the ways we are alike and I try to feel how I imagine this person is feeling. I remember that it is because of their suffering that they are being unkind to me and that helps me to feel genuine compassion. Once I experience compassion, I can more easily respond with kindness.
I always feel better when I generate compassion and kindness than when I react out of my habitual or animalistic tendencies. And I know my words are much better received that way as well.
May you experience the true compassion that supports your kindness towards all beings
I've recently been faced with the opportunity to practice this quite a bit! While it has been very unpleasant to feel somebody's frustration pointed towards me, I've been able to appreciate the unique growth that has evolved from it. I've been watching my impulses to react defensively against the perceived threat; my ego wanting to defend it's position or wanting to counter-attack. This kind of response is so natural, so human. And yet as a conscious being, I've been doing my best to choose compassion and kindness instead. (Using e-mail has greatly facilitated this process as it's given me the space to think before I respond).
As I've shared in classes this week, what helps me to respond with kindness is first generating compassion (karuna) for this person. I try to see the ways we are alike and I try to feel how I imagine this person is feeling. I remember that it is because of their suffering that they are being unkind to me and that helps me to feel genuine compassion. Once I experience compassion, I can more easily respond with kindness.
I always feel better when I generate compassion and kindness than when I react out of my habitual or animalistic tendencies. And I know my words are much better received that way as well.
May you experience the true compassion that supports your kindness towards all beings
Sunday, November 6, 2011
YOGA IN THE DARK?
We just got back from an overnight in a small town a couple hours up the coast from our house. Another beautiful ocean town. I taught 2 workshops and Patrick saw 4 bodywork clients. It was fun to be their first visiting yoga teacher. Many of the students had never done a yoga workshop so we started with the fundamentals of Anusara Yoga. I love teaching the basics and opening people's minds and hearts with the power of the alignment and Tantric philosophy. I talked a lot about Opening to Grace; opening our senses and being more receptive and sensitive to our inner energy and to the energy around us.
So it was auspicious that there was a blind student there with her hearing-impaired husband. I was inspired watching her navigate through my instructions using only her senses of hearing and feeling and the occasional whisper from her husband. She was definitely practicing being receptive! Luckily she is a regular yoga student so she knows the basic form of the poses. Since I'm so dedicated to clarity in my communication, I loved the challenge of having to articulate the details of what to do with the body. She would certainly show me when I was not clear by following exactly what I said, not what I meant or showed. She never got frustrated or upset and her teacher was always ready to dive in when needed.
Although I've read and watched films about people with visual impairments, I have never had an extremely visually-impaired student before, nor have I had an acquaintance or friend in my life who could not see. It has me pondering again what it must be like to live in the darkness, to rely so heavily on hearing and other senses to interpret what is happening, and on others to explain what they see. I wonder what it's like to have those senses heightened so much to make up for sight. I suppose it's a form of Opening to Grace, of really opening to What Is around you in the moment (especially in public spaces), and tuning in acutely in ways the rest of us can't even imagine.
This ability to tune in differently with the eyes closed is why I often ask my students to close their eyes during various times in the practice. I love the way it takes them into heightened receptivity; they feel their energy vibrating, their heart beating, the movement of their breath and the sensations in their bodies in ways they don't tend to notice with their eyes open.
May we all appreciate this great gift of sight and may we also remember to allow our other senses to teach us about the present moment and to help us Open to Grace.
We just got back from an overnight in a small town a couple hours up the coast from our house. Another beautiful ocean town. I taught 2 workshops and Patrick saw 4 bodywork clients. It was fun to be their first visiting yoga teacher. Many of the students had never done a yoga workshop so we started with the fundamentals of Anusara Yoga. I love teaching the basics and opening people's minds and hearts with the power of the alignment and Tantric philosophy. I talked a lot about Opening to Grace; opening our senses and being more receptive and sensitive to our inner energy and to the energy around us.
So it was auspicious that there was a blind student there with her hearing-impaired husband. I was inspired watching her navigate through my instructions using only her senses of hearing and feeling and the occasional whisper from her husband. She was definitely practicing being receptive! Luckily she is a regular yoga student so she knows the basic form of the poses. Since I'm so dedicated to clarity in my communication, I loved the challenge of having to articulate the details of what to do with the body. She would certainly show me when I was not clear by following exactly what I said, not what I meant or showed. She never got frustrated or upset and her teacher was always ready to dive in when needed.
Although I've read and watched films about people with visual impairments, I have never had an extremely visually-impaired student before, nor have I had an acquaintance or friend in my life who could not see. It has me pondering again what it must be like to live in the darkness, to rely so heavily on hearing and other senses to interpret what is happening, and on others to explain what they see. I wonder what it's like to have those senses heightened so much to make up for sight. I suppose it's a form of Opening to Grace, of really opening to What Is around you in the moment (especially in public spaces), and tuning in acutely in ways the rest of us can't even imagine.
This ability to tune in differently with the eyes closed is why I often ask my students to close their eyes during various times in the practice. I love the way it takes them into heightened receptivity; they feel their energy vibrating, their heart beating, the movement of their breath and the sensations in their bodies in ways they don't tend to notice with their eyes open.
May we all appreciate this great gift of sight and may we also remember to allow our other senses to teach us about the present moment and to help us Open to Grace.
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