Growing Up a Powerful Woman: more thoughts on the Women's Herbal Symposium

I wrote the other day about how women feel more comfortable in themselves by being supported by others at the Symposium, but I forgot to mention how they also get it by example.  I'll get to this in a roundabout way through a quick personal story.

I just spent a couple of days camping w. my niece and nephew on the Smith River.  It was so perfectly warm and beautiful.   I'm a big fan of spending as much time outside as possible, and I was raised to appreciate nature through lots of camping excursions, so I love having the opportunity to spend time camping and playing in the river w. my niece and nephew.  They're now 10 1/2  and 8 years old and they love making fires, roasting marshmallows, playing in the little rapids and sleeping in a tent.  

This week was special because I was with them alone for 24 hours and in that time they made new friends w. a family from Seattle with 2 kids of similar ages.  The kids hit it off immediately and by the end of the day, the girls decided they wanted to have a sleepover.  I love that easy open-hearted connection that kids make, especially girls!   So we had a slumber party at our place and they had a grand old time romping around in the huge family tent my brother brought.   

I was observing these two 9 - 10 year old girls laughing and becoming great friends with such playful abandon.  There was no concern for the shape of their bodies or what they were wearing, their income level, age or intelligence.  But I know that soon, much of that will change.  They will become self-conscious;  concerned about body shape, clothing styles, hairdo's, which boys they like, who's cutest, etc.  

Here's where the herbal symposium comes in.  Many girls sort of grow up there, coming with their mother, their aunt, grandmother, friends, or all of the above, every year from the time they are very young.  The Symposium offers them many forms of support:  they can take classes just for their age group about herbs or making baskets or natural dyes or about coming into their "moon cycle" and they learn to nurture themselves and to take a part in their healing.  They can perform in the kid's talent show or in the adult one, and everyone will clap for them and celebrate their unique offering.  Or they can go into the "moon hut" and pick a tarot card or a Rune, read about women's wisdom, rituals and celebrations of womanhood. 

And the living examples at the Symposium are pretty amazing too:  we all attend the Maiden Ceremony on Sunday and the girls get to witness young women (or themselves) being honored for their transition into womanhood;  they witness women of all ages introducing themselves on the first night, openly sharing their stories of pain or loss, joy or success;  they see some women relaxing in classes or by the river with their clothes off and they see that women can be relaxed in their bodies, no matter what size, age or color they are.  

This is how I see the Symposium as a great example for young girls in finding a great ease and comfort with themselves.  The Symposium forms a community of women who support and uplift each other.  It reminds me of the Anusara gatherings we used to have, with the Tantric vision of celebrating diversity, seeing the good in everybody and having the shared intention of lifting each other up to our highest potential.  We would all leave feeling brighter and this is what happens at the Symposium.  So I think the more often young girls and women attend, the more they will "get it" in their minds and bodies that being a young woman and a powerful woman is an awesome thing.  

For a few years, I've been wanting to find a way to bring my niece to the Symposium as my friends have been bringing their kids or nieces.  It was sad to me that once again, I wasn't able to make it happen (she lives about 6 hours away).   But writing this today has renewed in me the desire to manifest that for next year. So, if anyone is coming down to the gathering from Ashland (next May) and can give her a ride,  that would be an answer to my prayers!  

In fondness and love,

Robyn

I have missed writing in this blog.  Honestly, I've been having so many great experiences, I keep thinking of all the things I want to share about them but them but haven't taken the time to sit down and do that.  So here's a quick synopsis of my escapades and contemplations from the last month or so.

Women's Herbal Symposium- Memorial Day weekend.

This was a fabulous event!   I started going in 1992 and used to go almost annually, especially in my 20's. I hadn't been in about 7 years.  It was wonderful to be back on this beautiful land (Hog Farm in Laytonville, CA) with about 400 women of all ages from new borns to infants and toddlers, kids of all ages, teenagers and women from 20's to 70's.  WOW!   I love seeing all the variations on beauty as expressed through a woman's body, especially when she's comfortable in her own skin and not trying to be anyone but herself.  And the symposium helps women to find this place if they're not already there, by example and by support.  They are supported in sharing their stories around the campfire the first night, and we practice listening and offering support.  At the end, we have a ceremony for the maidens who've come into their "first moon," like of rights of passage.  It's so beautiful to honor the beginning of womanhood in this way when so often in our culture it's such a private or shameful secret.  And there's the elders (crones) who form a clan over the weekend and come together to give the blessings to the maidens.  So powerful!   So we are supported at all ages, all levels of our being.  I have never seen anything like it before on this scale.  Women often come here feeling broken or isolated and leave feeling connected, held and empowered.  Many feel more relaxed and comfortable in their bodies, even though they may have come initially to learn about the plants and self-healing and being a healer.  There is something magical that happens when women come together without any men in sight in an environment structured around healing and support.  There is sweet ease and freedom, peace and joy.

So besides all the inner healing that happens, there is the great schedule of classes offered on herbs or food medicine in topics like first aid, herb walks, wild crafting, Ayurveda, Chinese medicine, cancer, diabetes, breast health, making lotions, making medicine, diagnostics, kitchen spices, salves, baskets, kids classes, seaweed harvesting and usage, and much more.  This year, my favorite classes were on breast health and Ayurvedic kitchen spices.  I learned a ton.  I taught yoga there several times over the years and this year they also had some fun classes like Zumba, aerial silks, hand mudras and Indian Orissa dancing!   I appreciated that they'd expanded their offerings of physical classes.

I went with my old friends and now many of them have kids.  It was wild to be there in my 40's and especially to observe the ways I've changed over the years.  I used to be uptight about taking as many educational classes as I could (as I was a trained herbalist), and this time I was more interested in having fun and chilling out, as well as enjoying some fantastic learning.  I used to have some social stuff come up around being included in the group.  It was so poignant for me to recognize that I'm way more relaxed with myself in this kind of environment now and not so concerned about what others think and how popular I am.  I was able to trust in my friendships and in my ability to socialize with strangers and aquaintences without any charge about who I "should" be with at any given time.  What a big difference from my 20's and what a relief!   I'm pleased to report that aging does wonders for maturation!   Of course, I think all my spiritual work has probably also paid off in this arena.  

Well, that's probably a long enough blog for now.  I'll write soon on some of the other recent adventures. 

Happy Full Moon Guru Purnima- the day to honor your guru and make prayers and offerings which will be multiplied by 1,000 times at least!

The Yoga of Cleansing:

For me, cleansing is a part of my yoga.  It's like a retreat where I commit to taking very special care of my body, with several extra practices like juicing, making almond milk, sprouting, oil rubs, taking herbs and shakes at specific times, and eventually doing enemas.  I love how I get more sensitive to my energy levels and how I take the opportunity to listen more attentively to what I need each day regarding food, exercise, communicating, work, etc.   As Krishna says to Arjuna, a yogi with disciplined action and be unattached to the fruits of his actions and s/he will have great peace.  So that is what I did.  I worked diligently taking herbs and shakes, making juices, etc. with steady commitment each day.  And, I surrendered any attachment to how long it would last and to the results I would receive.  And I am pleased to say that I had peace around this experience, and great results to boot!

I have been cleansing since my first juice fast in the early 90's, but I've found the Ejuva cleanse to be the most comfortable and compatible with my lifestyle.  I just finished this 4-week cleanse and feel thrilled that I made it gracefully through to the end this time.  I knew going in that I may not be able to  physically  handle it as last year I chose not to do much of the final phase because I felt too depleted.  I tend to lose quite a bit of weight for my small frame and so I try to moderate it so make it doable.  This year just felt so much easier!  I made sure to eat plenty of avocados and do lots of oils during the first 3 weeks when eating is permitted.  What I love about this cleanse is that you slowly reduce your food intake each week, so your stomach shrinks and you're not too hungry.  So by the 4th week, you may be ready to do the final phase of no foods, but lots of juices.  I extended my 3rd week of one meal for an extra day and psyched myself up for no meals, with lots of doubt about whether I could make it more than a day.  But I told myself I'd listen to my body and not push towards any goals.  My intention was simply to honor my body with kindness and love and release any attachments to how I thought it should be.  I was successful!  I just took it day by day and I ended up doing pure juicing and almond milk for 4 days with only a bit of fruit on the day before and the day after.  I had very good energy much of the time and my body felt more open and light! 

Now, just a few days post-cleanse, it's been very cool to see how much energy I still have and how I'm still surviving quite fine with less food.  Cleansing always teaches me about my relationship to food.  Because of my high metabolism, I have some anxiety about being hungry and I often tend to eat more than I need.  Plus, I just love to eat!   But the cleanse shows me that I actually need less than I think and that I feel better when I eat less, as long as I'm not hungry.   It also reminds me of the healing benefits of cutting down on acidic foods and increasing alkaline and raw foods, which are also noticeable in the joints of the body.

So here we go into Summer Time, cleansed from the inside out, and loving all the fresh fruits and garden veggies.  May I remember the benefits of this alkaline diet as I begin my travels back into the world of eating! 

Letting Go and Trusting in My Teeth

It was a great visit to LA.. The main reason I came was to see a cutting edge orthodontist at UCLA for a second opinion about my teeth. They'd spontaneously moved out of alignment a few years ago after about 20+ years of being perfectly aligned. I was prepared for more news of needing X-rays, braces, mouth guards, lots of big bills, etc. to move my teeth back and realign my jaw. But what I got instead was some counseling from a very experienced, sweet, fatherly-type orthodontist. His prescription: no orthodontics, no mouth devices (for now). Just relax my jaw, stop touching my teeth together, stop trying so hard, have more fun, and things will start to shift back into place.

Wow! Really? I was shocked. This was not at all what I expected to hear, yet it was exactly what I needed to hear! In fact, I have done a lot orthodontics and many alternative therapies in the last few years, with minimal results. It's been rather upsetting as I've been concerned about continually chipping and wearing down my teeth, as were the specialists I've worked with. So, to hear an 40+ year expert say to just let it go and basically trust that it will be okay, after so many experts have wanted to give me extensive and expensive treatment, really caught me off guard. And, yet it's so very perfect. It will require a lot of awareness for the ways I hold tension and chew my food. But I am so ready to release the stress that I carry in my jaw and ready to trust even more in the Universal support and wisdom that is always present within me, wanting to be known.

In fact, increasing awareness is exactly what I've already been focusing on in the area of speech (see last 2 blogs). So to be told to actually put my awareness into my mouth is just too ironic. In yoga, our speech (vak) is said to start in the unconscious. It then moves forward into the conscious as thought energy. Then it forms in the mind as thought words, and finally it comes out of the mouth as actual words. So it's perfect as I'm already so focused on what comes out of my mouth in that last stage of speech, and now I just need to focus on the actual muscles of my mouth/jaw and how I'm using them in those thinking and speaking stages.

As far as relaxing more and having more fun goes, well this is also just the perfect advice for me and something I've already been attending to. From my coaching work, I recognized I wanted to prioritize more time with friends and community. From my Voice Dialogue coaching, I recognized that the "Spiritual Pusher" and "Doer" parts of me tend to run the show and the parts that want to relax and play are often left behind. So I've been taking more time off and scheduling in play time with Patrick, friends and family. Summer is going to be chock full of fun!

For now, I have surrendered my plan to work with an expensive bio-aesthetic dentist and have already greatly heightened my awareness for how I chew, talk and hold my jaw. I'm excited to recognize that I can be my own healer on this journey of the mouth, and am looking forward to more inner mouth freedom! Frisbee anyone?

Yoga Immersions and Conscious Communication

Vanessa and I just finished our 3rd weekend of the Ashland Immersion. I'm happy to be halfway through both Immersions now. It's a very busy time for me, since I'm co-teaching two Immersions simultaneously, plus doing a Level 2 Immersion in addition to my weekly classes. Whoa! I've never taught the Immersions simultaneously like this. It's not my ideal schedule, but it's how it worked out, and there's a lot that I'm appreciating about it. I'm doing all the planning and scheduling for the Arcata Immersion, since it meets first, and we're using that for the Ashland one. It's more efficient for us, plus our students can do make-ups in either group if needed, which has been cool. So what's been interesting is witnessing the similarities and differences between the two groups and teaching experiences. I get to watch how my teaching evolves and improves between the two weekends, and how the different groups respond to the same material. I also enjoy watching the various group dynamics as well as how my co -teachers bring in unique perspectives and insights. I really appreciated how organized and clear Joshua's anatomy session was. I'm now in the midst of teaching my 9th Immersion and it seems there's no end to how much I can learn from these courses. It just keeps getting better!

What I especially enjoyed covering these last 2 weekends was the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, and specifically the yamas and niyamas (social restraints and personal disciplines). I felt great resonance with the topics of ahimsa (non-violence) and satya (truth), as these are very much at the forefront of my mind. I've been looking deeply into my own communication habits and those of our society at large, and have felt surprised to see all the times we mask our feelings, hide the truth, or use subtle forms of aggression (usually in the form of judgments or blaming), in our speech.

So it was fun for me to bring forward a bit of my knowledge about NVC (Non-Violent Communication) and my recent work in coaching and speaking my truth (see last blog) during that Immersion lecture. And I could see that the students were also quite inspired by the discussion. It was super juicy for them as it was so relevant to their daily struggles. And I'm guessing my enthusiasm was pretty contagious too.

For me, paying attention to my speech (vak) is a huge part of my practice (see Sept. 22 blog and April 3). It's where I am bringing so much more svadyaya (mindfulness) now than ever before, and it's what I am finding huge passion about. And I'm loving the fact that my friends and students are really open to learning about it. They are recognizing places where their communication habits are falling short or even inhibiting them from reaching their communication goals, and they're wanting to make positive change. So when appropriate, I offer my knowledge and coach them along. It seems to be helpful for them and I think it's fun!

And I really appreciate when people are willing to coach me too. I thrive on constructive and compassionate feedback, and am always happy to grow and learn, even when it's hard work. I recently had a great email session with a friend who's quite skilled in the language of ownership/truth-telling. She helped me to see where I could step it up even more in fully owning my feelings. She showed me how wanting something "for" somebody else was not taking responsibility for my feelings. It was so satisfying to get clear about what feelings were mine and which were actually projections. I can see this takes much steady practice over a long period of time (abhyasa)!

So this is my yoga: bringing mindfulness, kindness, compassion and truth into my speech in a much deeper and more conscious way. I'm excited to see how it will all unfold over time and who in my community may want to step forward and play with me in this fun game of truth. Is there somebody you'd like to be get more honest with?
Look for NVC workshops and practice groups coming to the Community Yoga Center soon!!

Spring Cleaning by Telling the Truth

I've been doing so much inner work lately, it's like I'm Spring Cleaning from the inside out, and boy does it feel great! What most excites me is practicing the yoga of conscious communication and telling my true feelings when it feels risky. This is satya, telling the truth, the second yama (social guideline) of Patanjali's yoga sutra. It's not like I've been lying, but I just haven't been disclosing all of how I feel, in order to protect myself or the other person in some way. But it's created disconnections rather than the true connections I crave.

I've stayed away from phrases like "you made me withdraw," "you've caused me so much frustration," "you hurt my feelings," etc., because I want to avoid blaming the other person for causing my feelings. I know I am the only one responsible for my feelings ( = "owning"), and "telling the truth" for me has been sharing them. The truth cannot be argued with. Nobody can tell you what you're feeling is incorrect, right? It's yours and yours alone. So when we let others know how we feel without putting any blame on them, they are much more likely to be receptive. It's a win-win! And for sure, it takes commitment and steady practice (abhyasa).

One tool that I found especially helpful was the NVC (Non-Violent Communication) lists of actual feelings and faux feelings. Many of us don't have a large vocabulary for how we feel. It's just not something that we're trained in. So even when we may be trying to take full responsibility, we often end up using words for feelings that are not true feelings, they're actually assessments of how we think others are treating us, and people may respond defensively. Here are some examples of faux feelings (notice they can even be positive): accepted, appreciated, blamed, ignored, abandoned, criticized, attacked, pressured, intimidated. Those words are actually attempting to evaluate what the other person has done "to you" instead of saying how you actually feel. This is judging language. It tends to close the door to intimacy rather than open it. And it is not taking 100% responsibility, so it is disempowering.

In fact, it's quite common to insert the words "I feel like" in front of a thought, belief, or one of these faux feelings, to make it sound like a feeling. For example: "I feel pressured," or "I feel like you're neglecting me." I know this a tricky one to grock because this language style is deeply imbedded in our society. So if "I feel like, I feel you, or I feel that" could be replaced by "I think, I believe, or I think you," then it's an assessment, not a feeling, and it will probably not be received in the way you'd like.

Go here to learn more and for a great list of true feelings: http://www.cnvc.org/Training/feelings-inventory. Also, Marshall B. Rosenberg's book, Non-Violent Communication is a great read and an easy introduction to learning the practices of NVC, which involves much more than expressing our feelings.

So lately I've been taking big risks in some close relationships like never before. I've been telling my truth where previously I've withheld it out of fear of being rejected or hurting someone's feelings (which of course is impossible)! It's been scary for certain, but also incredibly liberating. I'm doing it consciously, fully owning it and the outcome has been awesome. I've found that when I've shared my truth, my friends have been very receptive and appreciative. They want to be let in and it inspires them to be more honest with me. Together, we break down a wall that we hadn't even realized was there.

Aaaah, I'm thrilled to finally be doing this deep work and letting in more intimacy. The Spring Cleaning has begun: I'm clearing out the old habits that have been hiding in the dusty corners of my closets. It's not always an easy task, but definitely very satisfying!

Seeing the Divine within

From my March Newsletter:

Spring is just around the corner. The earth is bursting with life and color - are you delighting in the creation?
As the teachings of Tantra Shaivism remind us, this entire world is an emanation of Shiva, the incredible source essence of auspiciousness, consciousness, presence, and joy. Then who we truly are is this radiant goodness, as is everything that we see, feel and think. All humans, plants, animals, rocks, roads, buildings, thoughts, behaviors, etc. have these auspicious qualities and are of the same positive source.

When we chant Om Namah Shivaya in our invocation (I bow to Shiva), we are remembering this source and honoring these auspicious qualities in the source and in ourselves, something we so often forget to do. But our practice is one of remembering.

Can you believe that everything you think and feel and do is an act of the Divine, even if it's not your best? Try the heart-opening practice of looking into the mirror and saying Shivo Ham (I am Shiva). Repeat this silent mantra as much as possible, especially after you've said something you wish you hadn't, and feel your heart soften. Next try looking into a baby's, a pet's, a lover's eyes and see Shiva looking back at you - om namah shivaya. Can you recognize this radiance in the rose bud, in the new grasses, in the yoga mat, in the clouds, in the trash heap? If you practice in this way, you just might experience less judgement and separation and more connection and joy in your world. I dare you to try!

May you delight in the abundant radiance of Spring. May you fully engage in the riches of the world and make every encounter one of divine recognition and joy.